We are in the dying days of summer and the weather is ever changing.
Even darkened plumes of tall column like cloud structures, intense and foreboding can almost instantly dissipate and make way to a scorching sun, that burns me with ecstatic energy.
You are my weather machine.
Engulfing me with a light I thought was out of reach, blinding me to a darkness that has held me in its bleak clutches for what seems like an eternity. Sadness has no concept of time. How long I have stumbled in the dim light of day I do not know, holding onto the notion that nothing is forever.
Nothing is forever.
Hard times will fall away like sand through grasping hands, hardened with guilt at the vulnerability we were unable to change fate and save those we love. Much like every beautiful moment is precious and fleeting, to be celebrated and missed on passing, everything will flow it’s course and drip away. All these the colours of life’s great mosaic, a portrait of each person made up of every second we take, every moment we make with ourselves and others.
Others are the most valuable.
I cannot find peace with what’s been, but I can learn to accept its pain. A branding on my heart that will ache from day to day. I can learn to lift my face up, opened eyed and mouthed to clouds and rain. As if I don’t, it could subside but I’d never feel sun again…and what a shame to feel just nothing out of fear of feeling pain, so I embrace all that tethers us together and all that makes us the same, whilst I wait with baited breath to bask again in suns warm rays.
My face is flushed
A searing, hot heat races from my heart,
to my feet and my face.
I am a disgrace in your embrace.
A turning worm, writhing in the sun
Surviving next to one,
who won’t burn me out.
Is the saddest kind of love, that which has been lost. Not one that has struggled through the peaks and troughs of hardship. Not one unrequited as he is far pitched above any man who’d lay eyes on her. When one who’d pave ways for her sits idle in the corner. His mind ravaged with frustration at the blindness to what’s in front of her. He’s never ever felt her like he does within his dreams. Never ever smelt her when she’s splitting at the seams. When life has dealt her brutal blows and she knows what nothing means, so vulnerability somehow tranquilly dismisses possibilities once meant to be. A future dissipates in front of her eyes. Such beautiful promises reveal themselves as lies. All the prospects for her next steps slip to their natural demise as the stairs give way under cautious treads and she falls without reprise. And he could never really know how she truly feels. As at least she has her pride when the secrets just hers still. When no-one knows the burning of the words locked on her lips. There for the taking with the right kind of kiss. The right kind of kiss from the right kind of man .Someone she can count on over years as they span a lifetime as it rusts, a golden hue of trust and lust, a lovers promised planned. Amidst a blur of frantic, grasping, rough and gentle hands.
I want to be a part of your world.
I want to awake to your face, in a place we create
I celebrate, you.
Every inch a man I can look up to.
I’d stand by you
For your principles are unquestionable
And where the rest should fall, you’ve bested them all, in my heart.
So it starts
And I’m scared that you may not care as I do
But who am I to destroy this chance?
So I dance the dance, with poise to my stance
Hoping you’ll glance and never turn away.
You can’t see what I see. What could be an absolute dream.
We said we’d take it slow
Though I know these feelings are staring to show
Against all warning signs my mind slows to a prose
For a man I’ve known so long.
And there’s so much learning to do
After so many failings I thought I’d tire of putting effort into the new, but not with you.
With you I eagerly anticipate the next date
When we can communicate in person
Conversing face to face
Cohersing each other to an even brighter place
Than our already beautiful lives.
You’ve opened my eyes
To so much I didn’t know
But a healthy together is one that can grow
And I think I can play you your kind of show
But, we need to take it slow
For old heartache is nipping at both of our toes
And it hurts
But. That. Will. Disperse.
So let’s not act in haste
Let’s saviour the taste of this steady pace
Let’s go on adventures and see where things take us
Let’s find all the beauty in the world bit by bit
Because we are all Captains of our own ships
Just know this.
I’ll help you stitch your sails when torn
Feed you when you’re weathered in worn
On a dark stormy night, I would keep you warm
And there’s more,
But we’ll save that for later…
So for now we’re just mates who think a lot of each other
With so much more to discover and see
A seed that could sprout and grow into the world’s largest tree
An right now that possibility, is good enough for me.
Oh Mother Dear
Let me make you proud,
Let me show you how I laugh out loud
How I smile,
How I charm,
How I wear the finest man upon my arm
Oh Mother Dear
You showed me how to be,
How to be me
And I’m so pleased
To be a part of you, but a bit askew
I’m your wilder side,
Mischievous, gentle, kind.
You may find me in the corner of your mind
Somewhere we sit
We talk, we laugh
A photograph, is taken
A moment stolen
For just us two.
”Sonder – N. The realization that each passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own – populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness – An epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk”
I am an avid people watcher and over thinker. Humanity and our world amaze and inspire me every day. I have taken to writing to capture how I feel in order to understand the babbling sea of thoughts and feelings in my head. I also thrive on taking photos and music is my oxygen.
Writing is not only enjoyable, but it is fundamental to my sanity. I have both read and written with enthusiasm since I was a small child. For the last 6 years I have been writing and performing poetry and I hope one day to write for my crust.
I find beauty in the simplest and smallest of things be it light or dark. I like to share this with people and I like the craftsmanship behind something well written. I don’t think I could ever tire of it.
I hope you like my words. I’m looking forward to the new writers I’ll meet on here and I’m always interested to hear of opportunities to get involved in projects. Don’t be shy!